Soft Cotton
by Janaie42
Summary: You don't just end an 18 year long friendship over a little inconsideration. Right? AH/Disclaimer: Sexual assault included in story.


I'm so cold.

Wet. Drowning.

Help me.

Help me.

* * *

"Sup, Swan?"

"Mike."

"Oh come on, don't be like that Is. I just wanna ask you a question."

"Leave me alone, Mike." Noticing his arm is coming towards me, I try to sidestep out of the way, but he follows.

Slamming his body into mine, cutting me off, he continues, "You going to prom Is? You need a date?"

Staring at him, willing away tears of frustration, and admittingly a little fear, I turn my chin up. "That's none of your business asshole, now get out of my way."

He smirks. Removes his arm. Walks backwards. "That's fine, Is. That's just...fine."

* * *

"Oh, Isabella. You look so beautiful honey!" She claps her hands together in pure glee, gesturing for my father to finally take the damn picture. _Just take the damn picture._

"Come on, smile Isabella. Smile!" My dad lifts the camera, giving me a pointed look and nods towards my mother.

I know, dad. I know.

Putting on the smile I've practiced hundreds of times in the mirror, I grip Alice and Angela on each side of me and pose.

_Just another night. It's just another night._

"Ok, now my turn!" My mother rushes over and hugs me. Posing like Mother of the Year and smiling bigger than I've ever seen her smile before.

Staying still for two more shots, I look at Angela and Alice and motion towards the door. "Mom, we really have to go. We're going to be late." I shake her off unsuccessfully, and move towards the door.

"Oh, alright. Alright. You girls have fun. Take lots of -"

Finally free, I slam the door behind us and close my eyes.

"Jesus, Is. Are you ok?" Angela touches my arm and I can imagine the concerned look on her face. I do my best not to shudder from her touch.

Plastering a smile on my face, I open my eyes. "Yeah, Gigi. I'm good. It's prom bitches!" I throw my hands in the air and run towards the limo where everyone else awaits.

Where my friends are.

* * *

Cheaply spiked punch, Billboard Top 100, and a dimly lit atmosphere. Looking around the room that is nothing less than tastefully decorated, I count the number of times a light flickers in one of the chandeliers.

87 times so far.

Taking another sip of my _punch_, I glance around the room. Vaguely aware that my friends have deserted me to dance with their dates, I sit my drink down and dig out my phone from my clutch. Scrolling through Instagram, I take a seat as close to the exit as possible.

I'm looking at memes about introverts when Angela comes over. "Oh my gawd, Is. Why are you not dancing with us?" Ben slings his arm over shoulder and looks at me through glassy eyes. I'm mildly offended he didn't offer me any but then decide it's probably for the best.

"I chose the wrong shoes for tonight. I'm content to just watch you guys gyrate all over each -"

"Doesn't this place look fantastic?! Ugh! Alice did such a great job. I just, I can't." She claps and puts a hand over her heart. I smile at her and look back down at my phone.

"You know Mike is looking for you Swan. I told him you'd save him a dance." Ben lifts his drink and winks at me. He turns around abruptly, jostling Angela along with him and her drink spills a little.

"Jesus, Ben. We're attached for God's sake. Pay -"

"Mike! Mike! She's over here." Ben flags down Mike and gestures in my direction. Mike makes eye contact with me and begins to walk over. I flush and stand up as nonchalantly as possible.

"No, Is. Staaaayyy." Angela whines. "You guys were so cute together. Just dance with him or something."

Heat creeps up the back of my neck and my mouth fills with saliva. Stomach in knots, I say, "It's fine, Gigi. I'm just going to get some fresh air."

* * *

Moving through the hotel lobby as fast as possible without trying to attract attention, I keep my eye on the exit. Several people stop me. Compliments on my dress - _"Who's the designer?"_ \- and compliments on my looks - _"Nice ass Swan."_ \- accompany me outside as I finally, _finally_ make my way to the curb.

Looking for the valet, I feel a hand on my arm. I stiffen at that hand. His hand.

"You don't have to run away every time I wanna talk to you, Is. It's just me."

_Yeah. You and the alcohol on your breath._

"Remove your hand, or I'll move it for you."

His grip tightens and I take a look around. There aren't many people around and I'm assuming the valet are taking a break since their station is empty. I try to shake off both Mike and my nausea.

"I don't know what the fuck your problem is, but let's not cause a scene." Dragging me around the building, he keeps talking. Pushing me back against the wall, he smiles sarcastically. "I'm trying to give you your space Isabella, but you're making it very hard to stay away. Look at this dress," he drags his finger down my cleavage, "and this face." He traces my jaw and I turn my face away. Yanking my arm, I look around again. You can see the street from here but we're more secluded than I'd like to be. Yanking my arm again, I gasp as he tightens his grip even more.

"Let go of me." Proud of the way my voice doesn't shake, I repeat myself. "Mike, _let go of me_."

"You're so ungrateful. What more could you want? You're the queen of the fucking castle and we -"

"We were nothing! I was a convenience and a trophy to parade around like a possession. And it's very clear that you still don't understand that no means -" I'm cut off as he tries to kiss me and finally I think _fuck it_.

I pull his body towards me by the grip he has on my arm, grab his shoulder and knee him in the dick with everything I have. His watch catches in my dress as he falls down with a squeak.

My forearm is throbbing and I run towards the front of the hotel.

Still not seeing any valet - fired much? - I get out my phone and call the only person's number I know by heart.

"I need your help."

* * *

I'm so cold.

Wet. Drowning.

Help me.

Help me.

Cursing the fact that I didn't grab my coat on the way out, I rub my arms. Between the 4 blocks from the hotel to the nearest coffee shop, it's started to rain.

I can't feel a thing.

I know it's raining.

I know I'm crying.

But I can't feel a thing.

It didn't escape my attention that Angela probably told Mike where I went. Or that Alice ditched us for Jasper as soon as she got the chance. Or that as soon as my friends saw me with a drink in my hand, they immediately wanted to get me drunk and pawned off to some guy.

My friends. My bestfriends.

The best of friends.

* * *

Entering the coffee shop, looking like a fabulously drowned rat I assume, I find an empty seat. This place is mysteriously scarce for a Saturday night, but I guess the universe is trying to throw me a bone.

A barista notices me and hesitantly comes over. "Miss, can I get you anything?" She looks at me up and down and frowns.

"Yes, can I get a towel if possible, please?" She nods quickly, turns and runs through a door labeled stock room.

Wiping my face with some napkins, the girl comes back with a large grey towel. "Here you go. Can I get you anything else? A hot chocolate or something?"

I can't even pretend to smile right now, knowing it'd be of no use to me. "No thank you. I'm just waiting for a friend."

A bell chimes as the door opens, and he steps in. Looking so, so good. He looks around for me and finally sees me in the corner...looking like a fabulously drowned rat. I don't even try to fix my appearance. He hurriedly walks over and his eyes get bigger the closer he gets.

"What the fuck, Bella?"

* * *

Edward isn't dressed in a really expensive tuxedo, looking to get lucky with the 23rd girl of his high school career. No. He's dressed in a soft cotton tee and well worn jeans with $300 sneakers and a leather jacket.

I bought him that jacket.

"Bella. What happened to you?" He doesn't waste time, gently grabbing my hand and pulling me up and out of the coffee shop. I throw a smile and a "Thank you!" to the barista that helped me over my shoulder and try to keep up with his long legs.

"Can you slow -"

"I'm about to lose my shit, B. You call me crying, babbling about Mike and your dress and...fuck. " He opens the car door for me as always and helps me in. I wait for him to get in and situated, putting the car in drive before I tell him the whole story.

I don't leave anything out. I learned the hard way what that looks like.

* * *

Back in his dorm room, dry and in his clothes, I sit on his bed.

I've never been more grateful that their father got him a single. I'm not the only one who's spoiled.

Edward hands me a bottle of water before flopping down on the bed next to me. Rubbing his face, he eventually turns to me and stares.

I stare back trying not to notice the sliver of skin between his shirt and his jeans. He always looks so soft.

I lay down next to him and wait for what I know is coming.

"You're staying here tonight. I'll take you home tomorrow." His voice is tight. He caresses my hair and my arm - careful to skim the bruise that we both know is forming.

"Ok." I make no moves to get up and am hesitant to move at all. I don't wanna risk him moving away when I haven't seen him in forever.

Forever. Two weeks. Whatever.

"You hungry? We can order a pizza." He shifts to look at me.

"If I'm gonna eat greasy fast food and get the acne to show for it, we can at least do Chinese." I sigh and slowly move my hand to his hair.

"Fine. But you're leaving the tip this time." We smile at each other, knowing he'd never let me pay for a thing.

I shift more towards him, rolling onto my stomach, throwing my arm across his middle. We continue to stare.

And stare.

"I'm gonna call it in." He sits up and walks over to get his cell phone from the floor.

I close my eyes and soak in his scent. Leather, cologne, and gently washed cotton.

* * *

Edward, Angela and I have known each other since we were kids.

Childhood bestfriends: Gigi and Is.

One with a cool, older brother and an easy smile.

The other with all the toys and material things her parents could think of.

One with friends that drank way too much and got way too high.

The other with a practiced smile and good looks. Some have speculated them to be too good.

Bestfriends: Gigi and Is.

One who gives a fuck. And one who doesn't.

* * *

"And Angela and Alice were nowhere to be found? Come _on_, B."

"Emmett."

"Nah, fuck that. I get that that's your sister and all but B deserves better than that shit." Emmett throws a ball of socks in the air and catches them when they come back down. He takes another bite of Edwards Lo Mein.

I look down at my carton of fried rice and frown. This is nothing that I haven't heard from Edward. More than once.

I get it. I do. And while this may sound wrong as fuck...there's no one at our school that I would be caught dead being friends with. No one that I knew anyway.

"I've told her this before Em. She feels like she should just suck it up and endure it until graduation." Edward shrugs and goes for my rice. We battle with our forks, smiling and in the end, I feed him with mine.

"Look, B. You guys graduate in a month - great. You can see this as being miserable for your last month of high school -_ time you can't get back_ \- or you can say fuck it and drop them now and just spend all your free time with us. You're already attached to Edwards dick -"

"Hey," Edwards head snaps up and he raises an eyebrow, "watch your mouth."

Rolling his eyes, Emmett continues, "You already spend your free time here. Hell, your school is only 40 minutes away. Cut your losses. And if you need us to fuck Mike up, we got you." He leans back, satisfied with his points.

I look across the room at Edwards wall of designs he's done for his classes. I picture myself in the house he's drawn for me. Around me. I picture an easy smile and soft cotton.

I look back to Emmett and consider the consequences of my decision. You don't just end an 18 year friendship over a little inconsideration.

You end it because you'd rather not be pushed to get back together with your rapist.

* * *

It's Monday. A school day. A miserable day.

I'm trying to linger at my locker as long as possible but then I feel a tap on my shoulder. I tense up indignantly until I feel the acrylic attached.

"Where did you go after prom? Did you hook up with Mike?! Are you guys back to-" I hold up my hand to stop her from finishing a sentence I wish she would just _stop asking_.

"Angela. For the love of God. No." Slamming my locker door closed, I turn to her and stare. She looks at me for a long time and squints. I've never wanted a school bell to ring so badly.

"Ok. Look. I don't know what you're problem is, but you've been a really standoffish bitch lately. I get that you and Mike broke up, but -"

"I'd rather be standoffish than say something I regret. Have you ever once considered that maybe I'm a little uncomfortable? A little angry?"

I walk away, feeling the heat rise on the back of my neck and my face get hot at my involuntary admission. She just doesn't fucking get it. She doesn't fucking get anything.

And because she doesn't fucking get it, she follows.

"Is, what is going on?! No, stop." She pulls my arm and I stop and stare at her hand. At her audacity.

For those of you who assume it's enough to give someone you love the benefit of the doubt. Someone who you've grown up with. Someone you've claimed is your bestfriend for life.

Someone who knows _everything_ about you.

It's not.

Because some people are just selfish things that live and breathe and drain everything they can around them to make themselves feel whole.

Some people are like Angela.

"You know what Angela -"

"It's Gigi."

"You can go screw yourself. Or the next willing teacher on your checklist, because I'm done. I'm done playing nice and acting like everything is ok when it's not. I'm so fucking done with all of this -"

"Now that you're fucking my brother?"

It takes everything in me not to bitch slap the hell out of her.

"Yeah, he hasn't exactly hid anything about you two from the family. But don't worry, his other girlfriends aren't necessarily heartbroken."

I do roll my eyes at that. Nice try. "Actually, -"

"Spare me the pathetic love story Isabella. See you later at our _family_ dinner." With a sneer and a hair fluff she walks away. Turning back around to walk backwards, she leaves me with a parting gift. "Don't forget to smile honey. Mike isn't the only suitor watching and waiting."

My heart drops.

My palms sweat.

I rush outside to throw up all over the freshly cut grass.

* * *

It was over Christmas break.

There was a party that everyone of the usual class was invited to. Mostly Seniors, some Juniors.

I'm not much of a drinker but I needed to let loose a little. Forget all of the ways Mike tried to get back in my good graces.

We'd been broken up since the summer but Mike had been relentlessly hanging around me. Clearly not too busy chatting up the other girls he'd been seen with during and after me.

I remember being two drinks in when Mike came up with one of his own and another for me.

I remember sitting with him outside and talking. Keeping things light. Friendly.

I remember going to his car to have a little more peace and quiet. It was parked a ways away from the party.

The talking had slowed, he grabbed my thigh and I made to leave.

Doors were locked, words were said. One word was said. _No._

_Get off of me. Stop._

Panties were torn. Arms were braced.

Shoving. Exiting. In and out.

I still don't remember how I managed to break free, but I do remember him groaning and grabbing his dick and shoving him away.

He had said I owed him for screwing up the plan. I didn't know I owed him for screwing up _their_ plan.

* * *

I told Angela the next day. Didn't really have a choice since Edward all but demanded I tell her what happened after I let it slip that I walked home by myself.

It wasn't that far.

But it was far enough.

Her initial reaction was to ask me why I had gotten in the car in the first place. I didn't expect anything dramatic, but I didn't expect that. I gaped at her until she rolled her eyes. She ended up hugging me and telling me to just ignore him. _'After all, we're graduating soon and you'll never have to see him again. Piece of cake.'_

Everything kind of spiraled from there. I wasn't sure if she'd told anyone else but when school started back, she acted like nothing ever happened. Gigi and Is. Just the way things were.

Yeah. Piece of cake.

* * *

I told my parents that I couldn't come to family dinner that night or ever again. They demanded to know why. Well, my mother demanded to know why. I explained that Angela and I weren't friends anymore and I didn't want to be around her. My mother was shocked, but my dad looked at me knowingly.

The doorbell rang and I rushed to get it before they could, needing time with him before we did this.

I would need it.

I took a huge, deep breath and opened the door. "Hey."

"Hi." I looked at his chest.

I knew exactly what it felt like. I could feel it under my hands. Feel _him_ under my hands. Soft, cotton t-shirt.

Warm and safe.


End file.
